Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
