Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
