so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How does one acquire holy water?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
