I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
