You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
