I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
