Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
