Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
