is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
