I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
