my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
