just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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