Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
