i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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