Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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