so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
