just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just found a bag of teeth...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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