we're blogging at a bar
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I cut my penus on the lid.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize