I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
