This is not my ceiling
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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