one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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