even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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