i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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