East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
