A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
