I haven't been this sober since birth.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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