so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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