I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
