It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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