So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
