my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
As shirtless as possible
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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