Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
