Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
