Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
