woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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