Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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