I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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