My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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