If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
