Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
