Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize