For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
