I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
