I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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