Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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