i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
