no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
