He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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