At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
