do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
