i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
