Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
