What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
