why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
