i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
