Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
