my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
